Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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