She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
