Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
