His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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