I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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