the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
