he was CRYING into my vagina
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
