Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
