Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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