I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize