DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
