he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
