I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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