I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
