I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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