Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
