i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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