I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
