He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
