Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
