If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
