I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
