I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
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