FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize