your room smells of hookers.
And success
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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