whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Mom said you looked used
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
