I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
