Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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