I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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