He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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