i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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