what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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