so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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