I will die if light touches me.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
