i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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