ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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