So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
