i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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