he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
