Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
