He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He felt like a one man threesome
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
