i think my mom watched the whole time
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We're too hungover to prance.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
