very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
