So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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