I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
