Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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