I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
