how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
