All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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