So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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