Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
