i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
