this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
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The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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