After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
