Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
