If that was your dad, he is hot
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
