Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I understand Curling. That high.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just high enough for therapy.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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