let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
