your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
