Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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