I must be too annoying 4 u.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
