This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
